My baby’s father said he’d raise the baby once she’s born if I don’t want to. Why am I so furious?


You’re feeling furious because the baby isn’t the problem.  Your relationship with the baby’s father is the problem. You may not have given the baby that much thought yet because you’re too overwhelmed with your conflicted feelings since he told you that he’s willing to raise the baby. Here are the concerns that make it hard for you to sleep at night:

● He’s not thinking about how this pregnancy is going to affect your life:
○ Your plans for school
○ Your job
○ The way you feel like throwing up much of the time
○ The way you’re starting to look
○ The way you have to watch what you eat and drink
○ The way you’re always tired
○ The responsibility you carrey for not doing anything that could
hurt your baby
○ The concerns you have about the pain of labor and delivery

● He’s not thinking about the fact that you don’t have to stay
○ He’s taking it for granted that you’ll have this baby.
○ He’s not recognizing that you have a choice to end this
● He’s not thinking about your relationship with him:
○ He’s elbowing you out of the way so he can reach past you for
the baby.
○ He’s talking about who will take care of the baby, but no one is talking about caring about you.
○ He talks about the future, but you’re not in it.
○ You’re just someone who will bring “his” baby into his future.

It’s time to ask yourself some serious questions:

● Is having an abortion a wise way to manage this situation?
● Will having an abortion empower you or victimize you?
● Will you be a better or worse parent to future children if you have an
● Will you be able to keep your peace of mind, dignity, and
self-respect if you abort this baby?

Your baby didn’t ask to be conceived. She is an innocent bystander while her mother and father work through the confusion her conception has brought into their lives. But now that she’s here, your body is providing her with safety, warmth, and nutrition. By continuing this pregnancy –
● You are protecting your own body from a greatly-increased risk of breast cancer, infection, infertility, depression, self-abuse and suicide.

● You are avoiding the guilt, shame, and remorse that having an abortion brings into women’s lives.  Women who have abortions lose their sense of self-worth. They’ve struck out at someone small and defenseless to save face, for revenge, to escape responsibility, to end conflict, or to spite someone.
There is no dignity in that.