I was raped; All I want is this baby gone. How can I put this behind me?


You have survived a vicious attack. Your rights were violated. You said “NO” and your voice was not heard.

  • Rape is a vicious assault on a woman.
  • This is not your fault in any way.
  • You bear no responsibility for this attack.
  • You have shown courage in the face of despair.
  • You survived.

First and foremost, how are you doing after this traumatic experience?

  • Do you feel safe?
  • Were you able to report this experience?
  • Would you feel safer if you did report the rape?
  • Consider reporting the rape regardless of whether you know the assailant or not.
  • Is there someone you are able to confide in that can offer comfort and a listening ear if you were not able to report it?
  • Consider calling 888-598-5491 to talk to an objective person who understands your circumstances.
  • Have you sought medical care?
  • To protect yourself and your future health, you should be tested for STI’s (Sexually Transmitted Illnesses).
  • You can be treated and put that behind you.
  • This will relieve your stress level.

Will abortion take away this trauma?

Answer: Rape is such a vile act; some women wish to erase all evidence this vicious attack occurred.

  • Some consider abortion to erase the rape.
  • Abortion will not erase the pain of a forcible imposition of a man for sex.
  • Abortion cannot remove the emotional scar of a violent trauma.
  • Abortion adds more trauma and more wounds to heal.
  • There is help to heal the emotional wounds following rape.

Why should I feel guilty if I want an abortion?

Answer: Many women feel guilt and regret following an abortion decision. All the emotions post abortive women feel are compounded in a rape situation because the woman is depressed and angry before the abortion takes place.

  • Women can experience guilt of another kind.
  • Some women feel the baby they were pregnant with died because of their anger and resentment of the man who raped her.
  • These feelings are understandable.
  • Abortion does not relieve this anxiety.
  • Abortion further wounds the woman making her recovery more difficult.
  • Rape is done to women.
  • There is no responsibility.
  • Abortion following rape is a choice made while the woman is feeling anger, resentment, fear, and depression.
  • Can a decision made under duress be “freely” chosen?
  • A woman who survives the rape but does not get help with the emotions following this trauma, gives the rapist emotional control over her life.

Is this baby a reminder of him?

Answer: The child growing in your uterus is imprinted with your genetic code, blueprinted with your personality traits and your DNA. This is your child.

  • When a woman finds out she is pregnant, she is the decision maker.
  • This is her baby, her decision.
  • Is a rape situation any different?
  • Is this her baby?
  • Why do people treat rape differently?
  • To give the rapist ownership in the making of this decision gives him power over her life that he doesn’t deserve.

How can I heal and move forward with my life?

Answer: Surround yourself with people who understand and support your privacy, your needs, and your decision.

  • Resist the temptation to destroy part of you to deny part of him.
  • He is not worth it.
  • He is dysfunctional and a failure.
  • Seek counseling.
  • Seek out concerned people who can listen to your story with compassion, concern and empathy
  • Seek people in your life who respect your choices and can provide needed help
  • Seek out people who can help you work through these concerns:
    o  Do you have a safe place to stay?
    o  Do you have a plan to stay with someone if you are feeling unsafe?
    o  Do you have a restraining order?
    o  Do you need to learn more about getting a restraining order?
    o  Do you need to report the rape?
    o  Do you need a friend to go with you if you choose to report the rape?

Will I resent this baby if I choose to not have an abortion?

Answer: Women have shared that giving birth had a healing effect on their recovery. They were able to move on sooner and grow stronger.

  • This baby is truly part of you.
  • She will depend on you to keep her safe.
  • She will be a source of unconditional love for you.
  • Because of your love and compassion, she lives, and your lives are forever changed.

How will my friends and family react to this baby?

  • Answer: The Focus Needs to Be on YOU!! Resist the temptation to give credibility to what other people may say.
  • Follow your instincts.
  • You are your own person.
  • You will live with your decision.
  • You cannot be a strong, capable individual if you make decisions based on the well-meant but superficial opinions of others.
  • They may look for easy solutions to ease your pain.
  • They may not be able to look at what is healthy for you as a whole person.
  • They may lack the insight to look at how abortion affects your life after the decision.
  • The depression following abortion may be unknown to them.
  • They may be processing the rape themselves and looking for a option they think will fix the situation.
  • They may be unaware that abortion adds to a woman’s guilt, depression, and despair.

You, and only you, have control over your life, your decisions, and the life growing inside your uterus.

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