Why can’t I get past the judgment I’ll feel for increasing our family size?


You have another child. Is it so important at this point to belabor the fact that her conception may not have been planned?  Do you know how many people are living today despite the fact that their parents didn’t make a plan to conceive them?  Whenever a fertile man and woman have intercourse, there’s always the possibility of a pregnancy.  You may consider your pregnancy a mistake in good judgment or a temporary loss of self-control.  But what really happened is that your reproductive systems worked exactly as they were designed to work.  Does that make your baby a mistake?  Is that the label you want to pin on her shirt?  The names and labels won’t change the fact that she’s your child.  She bears your traits and characteristics, your genes and chromosomes, just like your other children.  She’s her own unique, once-in-all-of-eternity person.  And she’s already living and growing – waiting to meet the family.

  • Do you really feel that she’s not welcome in our world?
  • Do you feel that the world would be a better place if her life were sacrificed for it?
  • Do you believe that one of your own children would in no way contribute toward making this world a better place?
  • Is that what you believe about children – even your own?

What does it say about a society that makes a family ashamed or embarrassed to welcome additional children?  Not much – and none of it complementary. But I can assure you about this –

  • No one will care how large your family is a year from now.
  • No one will smirk when you bring your newborn out for a walk in the stroller.
  • No one will whisper when they see your other children playing with their toddler sibling in the yard.
  • No one will joke when you see her off to Kindergarten.

The same people who may judge you now for having a large family will be the ones who later admire you for protecting and providing for your family, and welcoming each child you create into its loving midst.