He wants the baby.  Why am I confused?

 

Some women are thrilled when they learn that the father wants their baby.

  • For them it’s a sign that he loves the child he helped to create.
  • He respects the fact that his child is alive and growing.
  • He wants to be a part of his child’s life.
  • He intends to help take care of his child and supply what she needs.

Other women feel pressured because the baby’s father wants the baby.

  • They feel a lack of control.
  • They may question the motivation he has for wanting the baby.
  • They may not have intended to stay in a long-term relationship with him.
  • They may have doubts about his intentions to be a real Daddy to the child, or to support the child.

He’s saying he wants the baby.  No matter if your reaction to that is positive, negative, or somewhere in-between, the important thing to remember is that right now your baby is living because you have decided to protect her and keep her healthy and alive.  None of us knows who will be in our lives in the years ahead….or who won’t be.  No one has guarantees that a relationship will stay strong and bring happiness.  But one thing we do know:  Right now your baby is depending on you for her health and safety.  She is depending on you for her life.

So let you and your baby be your focus for now.

  • Take care of your health.
  • See a doctor.
  • Take your vitamins.
  • Don’t drink, take drugs or medications your doctor hasn’t prescribed.
  • If you smoke, consult with your doctor about how to safely and gradually reduce your intake.
  • Live one day at a time.
  • Begin gathering support from people who care about you.
  • Start making plans for setting up a home for your baby and you.

It’s important to try to sort out how your relationship with your baby’s father is going to play out, but take your time with that.  Ask your local Pregnancy Help Center for a referral for relationship counseling to help you work through your feelings.  They can help you sort out the confusion, doubt, worry, and hurt feelings you may be experiencing.  You don’t have to do this alone.