You have survived a vicious attack. Your rights were violated. You said “NO” and your voice was not heard.
- Rape is a vicious assault on a woman.
- This is not your fault in any way.
- You bear no responsibility for this attack.
- You have shown courage in the face of despair.
- You survived.
First and foremost, how are you doing after this traumatic experience?
- Do you feel safe?
- Were you able to report this experience?
- Would you feel safer if you did report the rape?
- Consider reporting the rape regardless of whether you know the assailant or not.
- Is there someone you are able to confide in that can offer comfort and a listening ear if you were not able to report it?
- Consider calling 888-598-5491 to talk to an objective person who understands your circumstances.
- Have you sought medical care?
- To protect yourself and your future health, you should be tested for STI’s (Sexually Transmitted Illnesses).
- You can be treated and put that behind you.
- This will relieve your stress level.
Will abortion take away this trauma?
Answer: Rape is such a vile act; some women wish to erase all evidence this vicious attack occurred.
- Some consider abortion to erase the rape.
- Abortion will not erase the pain of a forcible imposition of a man for sex.
- Abortion cannot remove the emotional scar of a violent trauma.
- Abortion adds more trauma and more wounds to heal.
- There is help to heal the emotional wounds following rape.
Why should I feel guilty if I want an abortion?
Answer: Many women feel guilt and regret following an abortion decision. All the emotions post abortive women feel are compounded in a rape situation because the woman is depressed and angry before the abortion takes place.
- Women can experience guilt of another kind.
- Some women feel the baby they were pregnant with died because of their anger and resentment of the man who raped her.
- These feelings are understandable.
- Abortion does not relieve this anxiety.
- Abortion further wounds the woman making her recovery more difficult.
- Rape is done to women.
- There is no responsibility.
- Abortion following rape is a choice made while the woman is feeling anger, resentment, fear, and depression.
- Can a decision made under duress be “freely” chosen?
- A woman who survives the rape but does not get help with the emotions following this trauma, gives the rapist emotional control over her life.
Is this baby a reminder of him?
Answer: The child growing in your uterus is imprinted with your genetic code, blueprinted with your personality traits and your DNA. This is your child.
- When a woman finds out she is pregnant, she is the decision maker.
- This is her baby, her decision.
- Is a rape situation any different?
- Is this her baby?
- Why do people treat rape differently?
- To give the rapist ownership in the making of this decision gives him power over her life that he doesn’t deserve.
How can I heal and move forward with my life?
Answer: Surround yourself with people who understand and support your privacy, your needs, and your decision.
- Resist the temptation to destroy part of you to deny part of him.
- He is not worth it.
- He is dysfunctional and a failure.
- Seek counseling.
- Seek out concerned people who can listen to your story with compassion, concern and empathy
- Seek people in your life who respect your choices and can provide needed help
- Seek out people who can help you work through these concerns:
o Do you have a safe place to stay?
o Do you have a plan to stay with someone if you are feeling unsafe?
o Do you have a restraining order?
o Do you need to learn more about getting a restraining order?
o Do you need to report the rape?
o Do you need a friend to go with you if you choose to report the rape?
Will I resent this baby if I choose to not have an abortion?
Answer: Women have shared that giving birth had a healing effect on their recovery. They were able to move on sooner and grow stronger.
- This baby is truly part of you.
- She will depend on you to keep her safe.
- She will be a source of unconditional love for you.
- Because of your love and compassion, she lives, and your lives are forever changed.
How will my friends and family react to this baby?
- Answer: The Focus Needs to Be on YOU!! Resist the temptation to give credibility to what other people may say.
- Follow your instincts.
- You are your own person.
- You will live with your decision.
- You cannot be a strong, capable individual if you make decisions based on the well-meant but superficial opinions of others.
- They may look for easy solutions to ease your pain.
- They may not be able to look at what is healthy for you as a whole person.
- They may lack the insight to look at how abortion affects your life after the decision.
- The depression following abortion may be unknown to them.
- They may be processing the rape themselves and looking for a option they think will fix the situation.
- They may be unaware that abortion adds to a woman’s guilt, depression, and despair.
You, and only you, have control over your life, your decisions, and the life growing inside your uterus.
Rebecca Kiessling shares her story and urges Senators to support HB 1450. Research studies regarding the outcomes of pregnant women who aborted vs. those who gave birth are shared.